Pedophiles are everywhere, and they want your child: Fashion, to the rescue! Introducing Safe Cuddling, a fluffy playsuit that keeps the bad men away.
Safe Cuddling sounds an alarm — Flashlights! Bells! — if touched for too long and/or in inappropriate places. At first, the suit blinks gently. But keep pawing away, and the alarm goes berserk, turning your precious little lamb into a wailing pervert klaxon. This thing’ll make your local Catholic Church sound like a tornado siren.
[You can see the flashing light on the kid’s shoulder]
The designer, Helge Fischer, explains his concept: “The ?Safe Cuddling” suit allows for the innocent cuddling of children by helping adults to maintain their integrity.? Here’s a diagram of the no-touch zones:
Safe Cuddling is meant to send up our collective obsession with (and rank irrationality about) children’s safety. But when Fischer, a recent grad from the Royal College of Art, in London, and a friend took Safe Cuddling to the playground, something curious happened. Parents got waaaaaay serious. Check the video here:
What’s more disturbing: The suit or the parents? reactions? It’s a joke product, but one that we could see inspiring a real market among people who already own leashes for their kids and have bear mace and tasers in their purses.