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Almost Genius: Keep Pervs Off Your Kid, With Alarm-Rigged Playsuit

Pedophiles are everywhere, and they want your child: Fashion, to the rescue! Introducing Safe Cuddling, a fluffy playsuit that keeps the bad men away.

Safe Cuddling sounds an alarm — Flashlights! Bells! — if touched for too long and/or in inappropriate places. At first, the suit blinks gently. But keep pawing away, and the alarm goes berserk, turning your precious little lamb into a wailing pervert klaxon. This thing'll make your local Catholic Church sound like a tornado siren.

[You can see the flashing light on the kid's shoulder]

The designer, Helge Fischer, explains his concept: "The ?Safe Cuddling" suit allows for the innocent cuddling of children by helping adults to maintain their integrity.? Here's a diagram of the no-touch zones:

Safe Cuddling is meant to send up our collective obsession with (and rank irrationality about) children's safety. But when Fischer, a recent grad from the Royal College of Art, in London, and a friend took Safe Cuddling to the playground, something curious happened. Parents got waaaaaay serious. Check the video here:

What's more disturbing: The suit or the parents? reactions? It's a joke product, but one that we could see inspiring a real market among people who already own leashes for their kids and have bear mace and tasers in their purses.

[Images courtesy of Helge Fischer]