Wanted: Vipp’s Manly Housewares, for Design Snobs and Tough Guys Alike

My mother-in-law recently reorganized my whole apartment while I was away on a business trip. This kind of thing would make most men pop a vein, but the truth is, she improved things 1000%. The only problem? She filled our bathroom with the same old wicker-and-beige housewares that have been making men cringe since time immemorial. But what else was she supposed to do, with no other options? Well, if I’d had a magic wand and an expense account, I’d have directed her to Vipp’s new line of manly-man kitchen and bath furnishings. Look at all that matte black and chrome: RAR.

Nothing has escaped Vipp’s discerningly masculine design-eye: not the toilet brush (it looks like something you’d see in an F1 pit), not the soapdish and shaving cream dispenser (they wouldn’t look out of place in a submarine skipper’s medicine cabinet), hell, not even the towel hangers (rubberized straps and blunt cut-out metal? Yes please!). And I don’t know how Vipp makes those towels look so fluffy and somehow badass at the same time, but darn it, they just do.

Would I love my whole apartment to be Vipp-ized? Hell yes. But the truth is, these designs only make sense for chronic bachelors. If you want to enjoy hetero-married bliss like I currently do, you’ll probably still have to put up with some wicker around the house. But if you’re nice, maybe your wife will let you keep the matte black toothbrush and chrome-edged bathroom cup. (Honey, if you’re reading this… it’s never too early to start Christmas shopping!)

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