A personal favorite brewery is 3Floyds. They’re this unbelievably bold world-class producer—tucked away in an industrial park in Munster, Indiana, amongst strip malls and chain restaurants—that will release anything from a limited-edition stout-IPA hybrid (the oral oxymoron actually pairs wonderfully) to a strictly traditional Bavarian-style Oktoberfest bier, that follows the rules and regulations of German purity laws despite being brewed in the U.S.
The flavors always border on overwhelming. The cynically psychedelic or outright death metal bottle art demands a long, eye-watering stare. And sometimes, just sometimes, I wish that the 22-ounce, once-a-year experience weren’t over so soon. For these moments, there’s the Hermetus Bottle Opener & Resealer.
At first glance, it’s a completely standard bottle opener for U.S. and European brews (or 26- and 29-mm caps). But all it takes is a flip to reveal the opener’s alter ego as a resealer. While it’s a touch tough to explain, you basically slide the bottle’s opening along a built-in groove in the opener. This track becomes shallower and shallower, until the rim of the bottle is sealed air-tight against a chunk of rubber. Not only will it seal in the rest of the beer’s fizz and foam, but you can even flip the bottle upside down without fear of repercussion.
There are only really two potential flaws with this device, which is to say it’s nearly perfect. First, the opener is in use whenever you are storing a beer, meaning you can’t hop beer-to-beer without reopening the lid. Second, should you actually buy this thing, it’s only a matter of time before everyone around you figures out that, all those times you complained about having to finish all 22 ounces of a heavy, hoppy, high ABV concoction? You were completely full of it.