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We’ll come to you.

I’ve seen into the soul of a unicorn. It’s a place where roads are painted in rainbows and clouds are misted in glitter. A place where fuchsia hair is combed by horsehair paint brush and the soundtrack makes K-Pop sound like Mozart. A place where women have starburst legs or mermaid legs or fairy legs or no damn legs at all.

A place where eyelines are very important, but eyeliner is just as important, (but—hey!—eyelines are still important, so no slacking off). A place that makes Miss America look like an episode of Oz, filled with grizzled characters, frumpy clothing, and horrendous imperfection. A place where wearing earth tones is probably why you’re on Zoloft so get with the program already.

This is the behind the scenes photoshoot of Dreamtopia: a particularly fantastical line from Barbie, highlighted by Peta Pixel. Know that your eyes are only temporarily damaged. The pink sunspots will fade with an ice pack in a few hours. The emotional scarring may last longer.