By any measure, the Trump campaign is imploding. The Spaghetti-O hued millionaire, who leveraged the power of the alt-right to take the GOP by storm in the primaries, seems increasingly unlikely to attain the Presidency… especially in the wake of the revelation that his preferred method of shaking hands with attractive women was by the genitals.
MIT’s Bradley Hayes has a bold suggestion: how about an AI programmed to act like Donald Trump? That’s the tongue-in-cheek idea behind DeepDrumpf 2016, a new crowdfunding campaign to raise money for girls in STEM, disguised as a mock presidential run for one of Twitter’s most infamous bots.
As we reported in March, DeepDrumpf is a Twitter bot that uses machine learning to copy the baby-fingered potato man’s quote-unquote “style” of tweeting. By training DeepDrumpf on an archive of actual Donald Trump tweets, Hayes was able to simulate with remarkable efficiency the actual misfiring neurons, chemically-imbalanced hormonal make-up, and low impulse control of the real-life GOP nominee.
In fact, if anything, the DeepDrumpf bot has proven over the last seven months that it is a more plausible presidential candidate than Donald Trump. After all, DeepDrumpf has never sounded a dog-whistle for white supremacists by calling criminals “animals,” suggested on tape that a prepubescent girl he just met might make an excellent future sex partner, or publically copulated with a chair during a nationally televised debate.
In fact, as the newly launched DeepDrumpf 2016 website makes abundantly clear, the Twitter bot may even be more articulate on where it stands on the issues than the real GOP nominee. For example, while Donald Trump’s take on domestic policy begins and ends with “Make America Great Again,” DeepDrumpf has a real plan for America, starting with the Garden State:
Similarly, DeepDrumpf knows what to do about the lagging gap between America’s education systems and the rest of the world’s:
He even has a plan for renegotiating America’s international trade agreements:
You can, of course, argue with the specifics of DeepDrumpf’s policies. What can not be argued with, however, is the fact that any of the above tweets is easily a more fleshed-out plan for America’s next four years than whatever stochastic word salad is currently being bloviated out of Donald Trump’s moistly puckered policy hole.
Sadly, unless the Republican Party initiates emergency proceedings to replace Trump with his kinder and gentler digital doppelganger, you can’t vote for DeepDrumpf. However, you can symbolically vote for him, by donating money to DeepDrumpf’s GoFundMe “Victory Fund”, with all proceeds going to the charity Girls Who Code to help get more women involved in computer science.
And you should do so! Because between Donald Trump and DeepDrumpf, there’s just no contest: DeepDrumpf is easily the better human.